SPH: The Vanilla Tootsie Roll

I guess you could say that I am an expert in SPH thanks to my stupid husband. He has given me years of experience with that weak little dicklet of his! Since he is hung like a gerbil, I have a particular penchant for making a mockery of any man’s mini mushroom. Your small wood is my problem, whether you like it or not!

 When I look at a guy who is hung like an elf, I know he will be a simp who is going to want to overcompensate for his wee willy winky by offering me his tongue or his wallet, and I’m okay with that! I love a man with something to prove but just know that it will come with a healthy serving of SPH. I love to dole it out and reap the rewards because I’m hot as fuck and I can get away with it! 

Your limp worm doesn’t deserve to be called a cock, so trust me when I say that I have a vocabulary that’s as delicious as my pussy, And I’m not afraid to use either of them. So be prepared for me to point out that your dangler looks like a variety of humiliating things, like a mini carrot or a dried-up Vienna sausage.

I love sharing my misery and good giggle with my girlfriends too! Don’t be surprised if I call them and describe your pint-sized pork whistle in short but precise detail! I know you will be embarrassed, but you certainly won’t say shit about it because your diminutive dipstick can’t get enough!

Aubrey wants to mock your mini meat!

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